A Thousand Splendid Suns

I am possessed by the book, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (His first novel The Kite Runner, was equally good). In this novel, Hosseini unveils the lives of two women spanning three decades in Afghanistan, from the late 70s to a few years ago. Hosseini is believable, as he himself escaped the country and fled to the United States. He is so believable that I feel a need to start learning the history of that region. I have grown tired of the media's version.

His depictions dropped me to my knees. I tried to put the book down last night to sleep but could not and read until I finished this morning at 1:00 a.m. My face was buried in my hands, tears streaming down my face for the character, Laila, who at one point has to give her daughter, Aziza, to an orphanage to keep her from starving at home. Food is reserved for the boys, afterall. Laila is beaten in the streets by the Taliban during her daily attempts to go visit her. Why is she beaten? Because women were not allowed to walk on the streets without being escorted by a male family member.

My heart ached so much that I picked Emerson out of bed and held her to me, whispering prayers in her ear and in Gods asking that she and I never experience the suffering that so many other women face in different nations, and probably our own if I was to investigate further.

Even after watching friends and family die; being beaten and whipped by her husband; and having her rights stolen from her, Laila looks at the city of Kabul and loves it...

..."One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs.
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."


Read this book. Get fired up. C

God's Will

A few weeks ago at church, our minister talked of "God's Will." He readily admitted that sometimes God's Will is hard to find, and can be equally difficult to understand, when you do find it. There was one message that struck a chord with me. He said you can tell you are doing God's will when you find you are immersed in doing things that you never imagined yourself doing, and doing them with joy.

Emerson and I invited my Dad (Papa to Emerson) to a Father's Day lunch last week. Dad asked me what I have been doing lately. I found myself describing my Vacation Bible School experience; planting flowers; readying for pending parties, reading a new book; working on a few home improvement projects; and of course, playing with and teaching Emerson. He looked up and smiled at me and said, "that's very domestic of you. "
A few years ago, no one who knows me would have described my daily routine as "domestic."
Who would of thought? And then I knew who...God.

Thanking God for knowing more than me, C

Zero at the Bone

When I was little, my Mom would assign me the chore of picking weeds so that I could earn my own spending money. I never understood why it was so important to her to have her gardens be weed-free. I understand now, and absolutely find solice in spending an hour or so, weeding the beds and clipping the undesirables. Today, I lifted a branch from the flowers' bed and was pleasantly startled by what I found there. Immediately, I smiled and began reciting one of my favorite poems by my favorite poet, Emily Dickinson. Read on...can you guess what I found in the garden? C

A narrow Fellow in the Grass
Occasionally rides
You may have met Him, did you not
His notice sudden is
The Grass divides as with a Comb
A spotted shaft is seen
And then it closes at your feet
And opens further on
He likes a Boggy Acre
A Floor too cool for Corn
Yet when a Boy, and Barefoot
I more than once at Noon
Have passed, I thought, a Whip lash
Unbraiding in the Sun
When stooping to secure it
It wrinkled, and was gone
Several of Nature's People
I know, and they know me
I feel for them a transport
Of cordiality
But never met this Fellow
Attended, or alone
Without a tighter breathing
And Zero at the Bone

Dynamite

Jason and I returned from our vacation in Nevis, West Indies, two weeks ago. We had such a thrilling time. Emerson took her vacation with Nana and Grandpa Gross.

I must admit, and am honored to do so, that I have become one of "those" parents. You know the ones I mean...the mom, when asked about the status of her baby, gushes about her baby, brings out the "brag" book, etc. What I have noticed now, is that we run in circles in which everyone has children. So, no one seems to mind listening, as long as each gets their turn at it . And my perspective for the no-children folks is the same. I was one, so I know freedom is great, but now I also know a secret. For me, the secret is that freedom has its privelages and its price. The price is not having a heart that feels like it will burst at the thought of my daughter, my other little partner. So, while I always love my alone time with Jason, I equally love missing the "Tiny Tushka." (I nicknamed her that months ago because her hiny is so tiny!)

Any way, while on the trip, Jason and I, among other things, went deep sea fishing. As soon as we got far enough out and dropped lines, we hooked a fish, and I was the first to reel in, so after being hooked into the seat, I began reeling, and reeling, and thinking...wow, this is a great bicep workout. I reeled for about 20 minutes, and landed my first fish, a 25 pound Mahi Mahi. It was exhilirating. And Jason caught a Berracuda, which I learned has GIANT teeth (you can't tell in the below pics)!

What's good about the story for me is the lesson I re-learned. Everyone on the boat was yelling my name, encouraging me along, and making comments about my size and committment to reeling in the fish. I said, "hey, my motto for life, is 'dynamite comes in small packages.'" Size doesn't matter. That's the truth, a truth that I am teaching the Tiny Tushka.

Feeling strong, Carol

Eat more apples!

I think I need to begin eating an apple a day, as I have never been as sick as often as I have since Emerson was born. Everytime she gets sick, I get sick. We're two sad little women sometimes!

Last week we both had ear and sinus infections. It was so bad that I couldn't smell or taste for five days. It was terrible not tasting food, but I discovered something even more terrible than not smelling food...not smelling Emerson. I hadn't realized how much I love her smell. Then finally last Thursday, when I picked her up and kissed her head, I smelled my little Emerson's sweet scent. It was the best. C

Woman

So, I have started and stopped this new blog for 9 months now.
About a month after Emerson was born, I wrote my last entry on my
"Baby P and Me" blog http://babypiering.blogspot.com. However, I didn't publish it until about two months ago. I am not sure why except that maybe I enjoyed the first few months with my own quiet thoughts.

But something in me has changed. I come across, at minimum once a day now, something inspiring me to "write it down." And thus, I have transitioned my blog from "Baby P. and Me" to "Mommy Tales."





This entry is about how I feel as a woman now that life's journey has changed.

I feel different. I care about different things. I read different things. I watch things and people differently. My heart feels things differently than before. I feel more empowered about LIFE than I ever felt climbing the corporate ladder. I make no money, and I am richer than I have ever been.

My life is as scheduled as always, some things never change, but now it's about how and what I want to schedule. Time is fleeting. We must spend it with the ones we love doing what we love.
For me, right now, while I am blessed with time, I love to "smell the roses" with my family...
I love to change Emerson's diaper and watch her grab her feet.
I love to see her crawl towards Jaxx and climb up on his belly to feel his soft fur...wouldn't you, had you never felt fur before?
I love that she is little and strong.
I love to watch her concentrate on pulling herself up.
I love that when I walk into her room to get her from her nap, she is standing, peaking at me over the bars with her adorable grin on her face.
I love that when I say, "come here, Emerson," she smiles and crawls to me, and uses my pants to pull herself up.
I love that when she wants to be held, she throws her arms in the air to me and smiles.
I love to watch her expressions as she tastes new food.
I love that she squeals and smiles when she sees her Daddy walk in the door at the end of the day.
I love that she has a Daddy that loves her as much as mine loves me, as their relationship will be one of the most important.
I love that I smile and laugh more than I have ever in my entire life.
I love that I have time to workout during the day.
I love that I have time to volunteer at church and that I have time to join the JLP with all of its service opportunities.
I love that I have time to learn new things. I learned to knit!
I love that I have learned that it's fun to just watch Emerson play.
All of these things are different than before. And I love it. I feel more like a woman than I ever have.
-C